yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize