Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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