We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told you penises don't tan
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch