I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents