Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
