I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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