It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i love accidental penises.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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