Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
