woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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