So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
