lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
