Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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