I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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