Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
