Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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