On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
