I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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