i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
