I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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