He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
