She's JV to your varsity
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
