So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
