He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
