Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
