It's Friday. Sex?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
