Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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