just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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