i just google imaged poop.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
