i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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