Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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