I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
