Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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