I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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