the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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