oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize