I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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