party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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