well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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