I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
