What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
