I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
