if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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