You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
