I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
