he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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