sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
