I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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