My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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