omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
