I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
