his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
