I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize