She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
