At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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