the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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