You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
