dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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