I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
