you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
