I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
