remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
