I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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