it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
