his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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