If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
