1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i was born a porn star she said
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
accomplished twins. life is a go
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
