she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
