her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
